The Pain
by ARiceFan17
Summary: Bella suffers from Edward's abscence & when he comes back: relationship struggles, progress to a new level of the relationship and more. Plus, new vampires are in town and the have a taste for human blood. Will they find peace in the dark?


_They say that time heals everything, but then why is time going slow? As I sit, watching the world go by the living room window, I know deep in my heart that wounds as deep as the soul can never really heal until that person that hurt you comes and fixes the wrong they committed against you. When Edward walked away from me shouting at me and telling me he never loved me, I was heartbroken. But I understood. I mean who would love a plain Jane like me? It still hurts though. I try to keep up appearances for Charlie, but I think even he knows that the pain and rejection I suffer is almost too much to bear. And so I sit watching the happy couples walk by, and I just stare into nothing until almost dark. _

_When I finally move away, the house is pitch black. __WOW! Did I really sit that long?! I really am out of it. _I walked into the kitchen and headed for the stairs, walking past my father's bedroom, I can see the lamplight on and I know he's been up, acting like he was working or reading something, but I know he was up all night worrying about me. _Damn it, Bella. You are going to kill him by the time you are done! That's it! Pull it together. Fake it till you make it. That's what mom used to say, now listen to her advice._ With a determined face I finally went to bed and dreamed of Edward. His pale white skin that sparkled like diamonds, his onyx eyes that lured me to him as if by a ethereal pull. He was a god in the purest form and oh, how I loved him. As I walked toward him, he backed up quickly, almost running from me. _Edward! Wait!_ But it was too late. Waking up to my empty bed and empty room I knew I was dreaming. I cried myself to sleep the rest of the night. 

When I woke, the morning sun was shining through my window, and I knew that I was never going to see Edward again. There was a time in my life that I would welcome the sun with open arms and embrace the heat and warmth that came from the sun, now I despise it and wish the cold would come back. The clouds were far away over the next county and I knew that the sun would stay for the next couple of days. I _felt _it. As I got ready for school, I noticed my window was cracked open. That was odd. I never left my window open. Not since Edward left. _Hmm_. I closed the window and walked down stairs to the kitchen. Charlie was making coffee. 

"_**Hey, Bells, are you ready for school?"**_

"_**Yeah, I just need to warm the truck up. Big day today?"**_

"_**Yeah. Warren, the deputy from the next county says there was a couple of teenage boys roughhousing in the street and they got out of hand. They're remodeling their jail cells so they brought 'em over here. Anyway, no big deal. Hey, I wanted to ask you something. Do you mind if I come home late tonight for dinner? The guys at work invited me over to Al's Bar down the road a piece for a couple of beers and I said it would be okay, but I wont go if you don't want me to." **_

"_**No, Dad. You go ahead and enjoy yourself. I need to do laundry anyway." **_He looked at me funny, as if he didn't believe me, but he nodded his head and said "_**Okay, if your sure. I have a cellphone on if you need me. For anything. Okay? I love you be good. Bye!" **_In all honesty, I knew I was lying to Charlie, about how I was feeling for real, but it just seemed as if he wouldn't be able to take anymore of my depression, so for his sake I had to try to be normal again, even if I was lying to Charlie and myself. 

Charlie left for work, and I left for school. Driving to school felt like a habit I used to have. It felt off; as if I never drove my truck before, and I didn't know why. Then it hit me. Edward used to drive me to school. Then like a bullet through the heart memories flooded into my brain. Memories of my beloved Edward. Oh, how the pain hurt so bad. It was too much to bear. _I cant make it through school without him, there is no way._ Pulling into the school's parking lot, I realized how hopeless it was. He was really gone. And the sun shining bright in the sky with not a cloud in sight confirmed it. Instead of the sun making me blissfully happy, _I was painfully depressed. How could he do this to me. Didn't he know that I would die without him. I even told him so. This is too hard. I cant do this without him. _Climbing out of the truck I flipped my hoodie over my head and walked with my hood up shielding my face from the sun and many onlookers. I could hear the whispers and the many rumors, but I ignored them and trudged on to my ultimate state of denial; The biology room. My worst and most favorite room in the whole school. Only there would I be alone and yet with him. My memory was fresh and cleaner there. It wasn't tainted by anything but his slight scent leftover from weeks ago. It was still there, because I had refused to sit next to anyone since Edward left. Too afraid to test my father and his position, the teacher agreed to my request. And so I continued to think of Edward. I could still see his bronze hair and onyx eyes. Oh, his eyes were beautiful. I could've fallen into them if he wanted me too. As I walked into the room every eye was on me. The whispers were intensely loud and obnoxious, but most of them were ignorant or strangely idiotic. Anyway, I didn't care. I just wanted to know that smell again. Sitting down in the chair next to Edward's old chair, the teacher finally brought the class to attention with a loud rap on the desk with his ruler.

"**Class, Listen up please! You are to open your books up to page 167 and read quietly with your neighbor. NO Talking or I will give you a detention. As for those less fortunate with out a partner……, well just read quietly and don't make any noise, am I understood, class?! Good! Now read and not a peep from any of you."**

As I skimmed the page about the cartilage of the nose for the fifth time, I wondered if I would ever be able to smile like I used to when he was around. I was in a day dream about Edward, when the bell rang. I hurried up with throwing books into my bag and rushing to get my notes together when I heard a loud cough come from behind me. I turned around to be face to face with none other than Mike Newton.

"_**Hey, Bella, umm I was wondering if maybe, you know….., well I was wondering if you would like to go to the beach with me and my buddies? it's the one near La Push, but not on The Rez, see it's the old beach near my house. I am having a party there and I was just umm wondering if you would come? It would be fun!"**_

Not really sure what to say, I kind of didn't have an excuse not to go, Edward was gone, and well Charlie wasn't going to be home, I just need some fun, I guess. "

"_**Okay, mike, sure I'll go. What time?**_

"_**Oh, that's great Bella. I will just pick you up at 8pm."**_

"_**Oh really mike, that's not necessary, I will just drive myself, I have to got to go La push to see jake anyway."**_

"_**oh, Okay no big deal. Just be at the beach by 8:30pm, okay?"**_

"_**Sure, no problem."**_

Leaving school, I noticed that the sun was quickly fading and strangely I couldn't wait for a cloudy afternoon. Unfortunately, Mike wouldn't be as pleased as I was about the clouds, but honestly, I wasn't thinking about Mike. I was thinking about taking a nice long nap on a cloudy and dreary day. As I got in my truck, and started to pull out of the parking lot, I noticed a note on my windshield. Looking around for the person that could of put it there and seeing no one, I got back out of my truck and took the note from the windshield wiper. Just as quickly as I picked it up I dropped it just as fast. There on the small sheet of paper was beautiful calligraphy hand-written by a person I thought never to see or hear from again, but on that paper was written, _**Stay Safe, E.**_ There I stood frozen in time, as if I was paralyzed. All my thoughts and fears and even hopes were made tangible in just a blink of an eye. All I could do was whisper_ Edward. Edward. Edward. It's not possible. It can't be!_ Too struck by shock to move, I just stood there. Shaking like a leaf from the cold and the shock, I could do nothing but cry. All I had wanted for weeks now was to see that glorious face again. To feel his hands on my hands. The need was too much. I ripped open my truck door and sank down in the seat, both worn out and saddened by the lack of my beautiful Adonis with me. It was the loss of him that hurt the most. As if he took apart of my soul with him. I knew then that I would never love again. He was it. As much as I loved Jacob, I knew that no one could compare to the sweet scent of my beautiful Edward. Eventually, the sorrow and pain consumed me and I sat there not moving, not thinking, for hours just sitting. Finally it dawned on me that I was late for the party. Scrambling to put the truck in gear, I folded the note and stuck it in my pocket. I would mull over it later. So I arrived at the beach an hour later. The party had already started but not many were there. As I walked to the party from my truck the girls from school, Angela and Jessica, walked up to me.

"_**Hey Bella, glad you could make it. "Hey Bella, what's up?"**_

"_**Not much, guys. Umm what are you guys doing?"**_

"_**We are playing poker, and talking."**_

"_**Sounds fun."**_ I joined the girls for some smore's and laughed as Mike and Eric both snorted marshmallows in their noses. For a while we just were hanging out and having fun. As it neared Midnight, the guys started telling ghost stories. Slightly tired, I jumped up,

"_**Sorry guys, I have to go, I have some shopping to do in Seattle and I need some rest, I will see you all tomorrow." **_Mike stood and said, "Bella, if you want I will walk you to your truck, it's no big deal."

"_**No, Mike you stay here, its only a little while and I need time to think. You stay and have a good time." **_

After about five minutes of walking, I neared the truck. It was barely visible in the pitch black, but as I adjusted to the darkness (only tripping three times), I noticed the stillness of the air. There was no crickets chirping, no owls hooting, no faint hooves running on the wet grass, nothing. _Strange. This almost reminds me of the time that Edward was hunting Victoria and the hunter. Wait a minute! _Realizing the possible danger I was in I rushed the last few steps to the truck. Quickly locking the door when I got in. I just sat there for a minute, trying to breathe quietly and evenly, so as not to alert unusually sensitive ears. Sitting there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, I started to move and slowly inserted the key into the ignition. _Maybe it was my imagination. There is no way a vampire would be here, I mean not after all that has happened. And certainly Edward wouldn't come back with the Cullens. That would ludicrous. Stop scaring yourself and go home. _Bella shook herself out of the slight panic and turned the truck on. She flipped her lights on and screamed. _No Way! This is not possible. I am dreaming! Please wake up. I don't want to see him. Tell him to go away. I cant go through this again. _As I closed my eyes I and reopened them. He was still there. Edward! He was standing in front of my truck with black leather pants on and leather shoes, and a gray turtleneck that hugged his body tightly. Over it was a black leather coat that was long enough to reach past his knees. Staring at each other for lack of a commonsense thing to do at the moment I noticed, his eyes were gold with red hues in them. _Oh my God! It was him hunting! Why is he here, though? I don't understand. I thought he didn't love me? Maybe he's here out of guilt?. I don't know. God I just want to have him near me again. _As I continued to sit there, neither one of us making a move to do anything then to stay where we were, I noticed I was warm. The heater was on. But wait, why did I have the urge to be cold? Realizing what I wanted, and getting over the shock of seeing Edward again, I knew what I wanted. Still staring at each other, I slowly opened the driver side door. Never taking my eyes off of him, I slid to the passenger side of the truck and waited. He just stood there, cocking his head as if in askance of me to move forward. When I did nothing but stare at him, he slowly moved forward, never leaving my gaze. When he reached the driver side door, I could finally see him clearer. His body was so enticing, it was hard for me not to touch him. His glorious eyes never changed, and his hands were still so beautiful. Finally I reached out my hand to him and simply said, "Edward, will you please drive me home? Please?" Standing there for a minute and thinking, he slowly got into the truck. He turned to stare at me intently and I stared back. Finally I just couldn't stand it anymore. I unbuckled my seatbelt and crawled into his lap hugging him closely to me; afraid of loosing him again. I must of shocked him, because I he could do was sit there frozen in place. Finally, he slowly put his arms around me until he was holding me so tight that it hurt. But I could take a little pain for Edward's arms around me. It was a sacrifice I would make any day. I heard a soft keening noise, like an animal in pain. Suddenly I realized it was me. I was crying. _God, I cant loose him again. I cant do this again. _

_**Edward's POV**_

She was crying uncontrollably and all I wanted to do was take that pain away. "Oh baby. I am so sorry. I only left because I felt as if you would die because of me. I needed to protect you. I wish I didn't walk away from you. I love you so much. Everything I said that day was a lie. I will love you forever. Please, sweetheart, you have to know that I love you." Bella didn't reply for awhile. But she continued to clutch me tightly and cry uncontrollably. Soon, she quieted. And I just rocked her and held her close. Whispering in her ear. "Baby, I'm sorry. I will never leave you again." "Bella, baby, will you look at me please?" She slowly loosened her hold on me, but didn't let go. Finally her eyes met mine, and we just looked at each other. Staying like this, as if we had just seen each other for the first time. It was a bittersweet moment. Finally with nothing left to say, I kissed her. Her lips were swollen and bruised from my love biting them. But her kiss was so sweet, like honey. I never wanted to stop kissing her. The kiss was soft at first, but soon she thrust her tongue into my mouth and I knew I wouldn't stop. Finally, from lack of breathing, she pulled away. She looked at me with adoration and love in her eyes. I just couldn't believe she would still love me. Reading my expression, Bella whispered "Edward I have loved you since I met you. That will never change, I just wish you would realize that you push me away, so I don't have to be so unhappy when you are not here. I am serious, Edward, you cannot leave me again. I cant go through that pain again. Please?." Smiling, I leaned down and kissed her lips softly. "Baby, I will never leave you again. I promise." Starting her truck, I drove her home clutching her tightly to my chest. I vowed from that moment on, that I would never let her go. Bella rested her head against my chest, sighing contentedly. "Edward, I want to stay like this forever." Smiling, I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Sweetheart, you wont have to leave me again. I cant survive without you. You can stay with me as long as you like." Raising her head, Bella whispered, "Edward, I want you for forever, don't you realize that?" Smiling I kissed her head. From that point on I knew two things: one, I would die for Bella. Two, I loved Bella with all of heart, and I would give her as much of myself as she wanted. Whatever it took, but I would stay with her no matter what.


End file.
